Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Someone is better

Life teaches lessons we may not want to hear.  To discover that someone is better, for a competitive person, is difficult to grasp. This seems especially true when the other person seems to be getting all the luck.

I like to think of myself as an easy going person. I know that I am not that good at mechanical tasks, like fixing the car, or other typical “guy” jobs. I know that I at a loss when I need to do basic home repairs.

This does not bother me, for I have rationalized that my gifts are different. I see myself as a scientist, theologian, and artist. I enjoy studying the world, and, using my creativity, to write about it, often from a spiritual vantage point. I like to follow Descartes advice, “ I think therefore, I am”. Thinking and writing about faith and culture is what I do.

So, when I see a blog or a webpage where someone is doing that, I admit that I get anxious. Sometimes when I hear someone on television talking about such topics, I wish that I could do that.

But I do not know how to get known. Often it seems that I can write and post ideas on my blog, and make cogent comments on social media threads, to no avail.

I try to be patient—and persistent believing that if I continue along this path, someday life will change.  But, then I hear someone talk about a topic that I feel passionately about!

I wonder was there something that they did that got them on the air, or on a successful webpage. Some have written books. That, I can understand for it seems natural: you write a book and, if its good, people will read it and then want you to discuss it.

But others have not achieved that fame. Instead they went to a top school like Harvard or Yale. Others seem to get to those positions because they knew someone. I know that this is the reality, and that those people have the right to do what they did.

But it bothers me. I can do what they are doing. But they had all the breaks.

I begin to get jealous, then sometimes, I go into despair. “After all”, I say, “I will not be able to have those connections.”

I must let these feelings go. Someone may be better than me. I need to allow that to be ok.

I have always liked to be different. I have quirks and a unique point of view. But, what if I am not unique enough?

What if that person does a better job at getting their message across?

I have to come to peace with that. I need to do what I do—and not worry what the outcome will be. If I no one ever reads my posts or likes my ideas . . . if I can never make a career from writing, then what. . . .

I do not know. It will be hard. But, I must allow someone else to be better—at least at this stage.

I think therefore, I am. . so I must continue, come what may.