Unwashed feet

Unwashed feet all around with

Uncombed hair all covered in sweat as

Grimy hands reach into the air

 

Lo, into the air, those grimy hands reach

Above the uncombed hair and the unwashed feet

Of happy tired children who, in warm sunshine played

 

In warm sunshine they played, all glad-hearted and free

Running, singing, chasing and dancing

Free to be children, far from their city’s gloom

 

Far from the city’s gloom, now into a circle they gather

Though hot, thirsty and tired

Ready to leave, yet one task remains

 

See, one task remains as arms reach to sky

“Praise God”, the adult leader speaks and

Just for a moment all become still

 

All become still, for a prayer has begun

Thanking their God for the warm happy sun

That allowed them to be just kids for a day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

God, the Concealer.

God as “The Concealer”

If religion were to advertise itself it may say that it is the conduit that allows humans to see the Divine. Religion in all its myriad forms, whether simple or complex, involves understanding God through revelation. That seems pretty straightforward; humans desire to understand the world around them, and themselves and thus seek God who imparts knowledge to them. Seeking God usually involves certain specific activities such as praying, reading sacred books, listening to sermons and so forth. God, it is said, can be reached via these methods. For many, contact with the divine involves emotion. God may evoke tears or laughter or solemnity—this feeling reminds us that the spirit of God is present.

But what if the person in need of answers finds none? What if, upon reading the Bible or other such book, nothing of importance stands out? What if religious services are attended, prayers are made, and there is no emotional validation? Critics allege that because of times such as these, that God does not exist, or is at best just a figment of our imagination.

Often it seems that instead of revealing God’s self to us, God instead seeks to conceal. Life is hard. Pain and suffering are ever-present. Many ask, “Where is God?” 

God can, and at times, is very present, such as when a person recovers from a serious illness in a miraculous way. But more often God hides. God does not rescue us from harm. God does not jump into human events to positively change the outcome. Even those who devote their lives to following God, at times, question with the idea that, maybe, God is uninterested.

I wonder if a new way of thinking about God needs to be utilized. Instead of providing answers religion, and by extension, God provides questions and uncertainty. Yet we tend to posit religion as a way to discover the truth.

I have often thought that trying to explain God to an atheist would be like trying to explain the need of a boat to someone who has lived all his life in the desert. It seems unnecessary and absurd.

Instead of presenting a faith that has answers, perhaps it would be better to highlight the uncertainty, the paradoxical and the incomprehensible. Religion is not a closed box.

Mystery perhaps should be understood as the thrust of religion—an exploration of the mysterious, not as way towards understanding, but as a way of recognition that we, as humans, are always “in the dark”. This is not a platitudinous faith.

We need to always search. God seems to enjoy playing hide and seek. God is found, only to be “lost” again. Like the waves crashing upon the shore, there is always more to God.

We need comfort and solace, but we also need space and freedom, usually at the same time. Our lives are thus paradoxical, and counter-intuitive. God works within that schema. We can recognize this, if we focus on the mysteriousness of the divine instead of looking for the absoluteness of God.

 

 

 

Stuck

Stuck

The sun is shining.

I want to go out

But, I am stuck

 

I have things to do

I cannot leave

For I am stuck

 

They say “it is for my own good”

For you see, something’s wrong

So, here I am stuck

 

Confined in this place

My mind wanders

As I am stuck

 

Outside there is freedom

Outside there is beauty

Yet I am stuck

 

Time moves slowly

I pray for relief

But still I remain stuck

 

Someday I will rejoin

And no longer will

I be stuck

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Change and Resistance

 

I do not typically like changes. I prefer routine and order. But there are times when I embrace change, when it is something that I look forward to. For example, this weekend my wife and I went to the zoo. That was something I enjoy, but it was not routine. I was relaxed and ready for adventure.

It has often been said that there is nothing permanent in life except change.  I suppose that is true. But are there times when change is not the right course? Does change always need to occur? Sometimes I want to scream, “No”, in the face of change. Other times I want to hide in my room, where I am safe and free.

I especially hate it when change seems to come out of the blue, such as when Facebook changed its format or when my favorite television shows changed from one night to another. These make no sense, but, since they are items that I am interested in, I feel trapped. I have to adjust.  But because the changes that have occurred seem capricious and stupid, I often become frustrated.

Yet there are other times when I am accepting of change—when it is not a surprise and when I can prepare for it. I knew that moving to Florida and attending graduate school would be a big change, but it was something that I wanted and planned for. Plus now that I am married, I have a partner to help in my anxiety (and I in hers).  Even though this was a positive change, I still resisted. I postponed my enrollment at the university for one year. Why?

Perhaps it is because change is unpredictable. It makes sense to resist it, since I know what is going on now, but I have no idea what will occur in the future. Apparently I am not alone. Many people are stuck in bad jobs or marriages because they are resistant to change. The present with all of its problems at least has certainty.

Change and resistance appear to work in tandem. As has been said, “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction”. Resisting then, is our way to maintain control.  It makes us feel, for the time at least, that things are alright—that there is no need for change.

Long ago I heard a prayer, “God give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can. . . .” But, I do not want “to accept”. I want to pout. I want to argue. I want to resist, for as said sometimes change is not necessary.

Nonetheless I know that I need to ultimately accept change. It happens, everyday. I may dig my heals in, but in the end little usually improves. There is power in resisting, of sticking it to “the system”.

Somewhere there is a balance between accepting and resisting change. Too far one way and we become as leaves blowing in the wind—having no center and always changing to meet the current situation. Too far the other way  and we become stubborn, cynical and negative---the type of person that no one wants to be around.

Life is hard. There is always something changing. Sometimes it is welcoming and positive. Other times, it is not.

Resistance is important too. It is one of our coping mechanisms. Resist well. Use it sparingly, realizing when it will work and when it does not.

Change and resistance are two sides of the same coin. Remember that every part of life is connected, and at its center is love.

 

 

 

 

On standing...

On standing. . .

My job requires a lot of standing. Dressed in a suit and tie, I stand in the back, by the doors, or in the foyer, where I can give assistance if needed. Sometimes, I stand off to the side while the services are going on. At these times, I feel as I am on sentry duty, as if in the military. I pretend that my dark suit, is a military dress uniform. I have a solemn duty: to stand guard and to honor.

Generally, I do not mind. However, I am not as disciplined as the military. I cannot stand still like a statue for long periods of time. My mind and body wanders.

I begin to think about people who do a lot of standing for their work. There seems to be a division between those whose work requires much standing, and those whose work requires much less. Who then are the “standers”? 

At the top of this list are those in the military, especially those in sentry posts who I pretend that I am emulating. Other “standers” are teachers and coaches, nurses and doctors, farmers, security guards, factory workers and salespeople including cashiers.

What do they have in common?

They all are in positions of service. Regardless of whether the job is directly involved with caring for people such as nurses and teachers, or more indirectly such as salespeople, cashiers and farmers, their work requires movement and closeness.  Physical strain is an everyday occurrence.

Most of the “standers” are not thinkers; they are doers. They do not sit behind a desk, or in front of a computer, but rather are out and about doing their jobs. Jobs that are to be done in all types of conditions, and too often without thanks, for these are the overlooked positions. Not glamorous out of the lime-light, those who stand provide the basic services and tasks that are needed.

Standing requires being present.  As kids we were taught to stand at attention. You cannot “phone it in"; you actually have to be there, and do the task.

I am also reminded that many people cannot stand. Their health will not allow it. I think that most people who are confined to a bed or a wheelchair, who are racked by arthritis or Parkinson’s would like to be able to stand. Perhaps I should see it as a blessing: a small sign that I am healthy.

It is in little things that I find understanding. Standing is often overlooked. It is a little thing, yet it means a lot. It means that I am present, and that I am healthy. Next time our legs get sore and we become restless, we need to remember that standing is a good thing . . . but then, so is sitting, especially after a long day of standing. That is a gift in itself!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dark and Cold

Dark and Cold

Dark and cold: these words describe December. Weather changes into gray miserable days. No wonder there has been winter celebrations since days of old. People need relief from the gloominess.

 

Dark and cold: these words depict for many, their life. Existence has become difficult. With neither money nor friends happiness seems elusive.  People need a relief from their oppression.

 

Dark and cold: these words define our humanity. The world is in disarray. War has become familiar. People need a relief from its conflicts.

 

Yes, we live in a world that is dark and cold.  Our pain is real. We hurt and cry. 

But take comfort. Something is afoot. 

Look a tiny bud is blooming. Hear a happy baby coo. Feel a lighted fire.

 Small things break through.

Suddenly it is not as dark. Suddenly it is not as cold. Suddenly we have found relief.

Darkness. . .

Coldness. . .

Give way to relief --if we look for the small things.

 

 

 

 

On Positive Writing

On positive writing

Write something positive, I am told. Everything you write is dark and negative.

I am positive, I can. I said, for I am a positive person.

But, I am also a realist. I see things that are askew.

Life is complex. I sigh.

I work to pay bills, but bills are never paid.

I pray for peace, yet look to war.

 

True, those are real events. Things happen. Bills are due. People fight.

Yet isn’t there sunshine. Isn’t there laughter.

 

Sunshine brings bugs, and bugs sting and bite.

As for laughter what is funny? Everyone is sensitive. Everyone is touchy

 

Ok then but what about the dog?

The dog is happy.

The dog is happy, because the dog is fed, is safe and has no worries.

Besides, isn’t it sad when I leave?

 

Yet, it survives.

See, it recline on the couch, its paws strechted out. It cares not that you fret. It cares not that you have no money, or that you have had a bad day.

It is happy.

I look. I see my dog. It is asleep. It looks peaceful

I relax and look closer. That bill that I have to pay looks smaller than before. I want to nap---with my dog

I lay down. Dog comes. Licking begins. Tail wags.

Dog is happy.

Dog makes me happy.

Good dog.